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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  May 5, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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>> i was not lying. >> if you are visiting from iowa, captioning sponsored by cbs >> the 93rd annual academy awards will be mostly zoom free, and, per producers, the broadcast is going to feel more like a film. >> during the show, you will feel like you're watching a movie. the promise is, the ever inventive soderbergh, who won an oscar for directing "traffic." ( suspenseful music ) >> (deep serious voice) in a world paralyzed with fear and a nation gripped by despair, one group of attractive individuals came together, to other st.by givingh ("walking on sunshine"wave ♪♪ is the tv show about movies on television that's actually the movie event of the year,
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starring the people who won last year, and the people who won this year, and some other people who didn't win this year but might win in another year. and... armie hammer-- ( record scratch ) -- just kidding, he's not going to be there. you'll laugh. you'll cry. you'll go to the bathroom when they're awarding best sound editing. coming this sunday, the oscars tv show-- the movie. so good. next year, it could win a golden globe. >> announcer: iiiiit's "a late show with stephen colbert!" tonight, planet fitness! plus, stephen welcomes joe scarborough and mika brzezinski, and musical guest bebe rexha, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, liiiive on tape from the ed sullivan theater office building in new york city, it's >> stephen: ladies and
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gentlemen, it is wonderful to have you here, welcome to "a late show," i'm stephen colbert. i want you to know we work on the show 'till the very last second here. we're like a distillery, (kiss) we want it to be brandy by the time it touches your tongue -- it's a metaphor. i'm not going to touch your tongue. no letters, please. check your calendars, april 22, which means happy earth day-- not to be confused with earth, wind, and fire day, which, of course, is the (lip synch) ♪ 21st night of september. ♪ in honor of earth day, throughout tonight's monologue, we'll be presenting: >> it's my special den: rth fac% of earth's surface is made of water. >> i'm all wet! ( laughter ) >> stephen: of course, earth day is like prom, in that every year has a theme. this year's is "restore our earth."
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yes, we must restore our earth, or before you know it, the theme's going to be "enchantment under the sea." climate change is getting harder to ignore. last year, wildfires blazing in the arctic circle set new emissions records, the atlantic hurricane season raged stronger than ever, and we reached the end of the hottest decade ever recorded. most of that came in the last year due to the rise in "bridgerton" butt. does it have to be that blurred? it looks like he has a condition. it has to be that blurred? i can say and talk about crack but we can't show butt crack, and no taint at all. climate deniers complain that doing anything is doing too much, but we just learned the price of doing nothing. one insurance company estimates that climate change could cut the world economy by $23 trillion in 2050. as crop yields fall, disease spread and rising seas consume coastal cities, it's not a good
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thing when it sounds like the book of revelation. that explains this new ad: >> geico: fifteen minutes could save you from the dragon who's tail will sweep the stars from the sky, and lo! the lamb will break the seventh seal. >> repent, sinners! >> stephen: hey, let's get another earth fact. the earth is not really a sphere. it's an oblate spheroid. >> i got some junk in the trunk! >> stephen: in honor of earth day, joe biden held a virtual climate summit, which made history as the first digital gathering of 40 world leaders. 40's a lot. there were only three leaders present at yalta and you may not know this, but roosevelt, churchill, and stalin met via semaphore. today, joe biden made this historic announcement. >> the united states sets out on the road to cut our greenhouse gases in half, in half, by the end of this decade. >> stephen: that's an ambitious goal that can be met only by sharply cutting back oil, gas
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and coal use. that's going to be rough on santa. "ho, ho, ho, katie, you've been naughty, but coal has been canceled, so here's the "snyder cut" of "cats"." he cutting everything now. he's cutting everything. biden is reversing the previous administration, which pulled out of the paris accords. climate policy czar, gina mccarthy, explained, "the u.s. is back in the game." that game? "don't break the ice." hey, it's time for another earth fact! at random intervals over the last four billion years, the earth's north and south magnetic poles have flipped. >> i swing both ways. >> stephen: biden wasn't the only washington insider trying to save the planet. in honor of earth day, the house oversight committee heard testimony from teen climate activist greta thunberg, seen here watching you decide if you're going to wash out that
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peanut butter jar before you drop it in the bin. thunberg didn't mince the words. >> i don't represent any financial or political interests. i'm not a lobbyist. i have nothing to offer you. >> stephen: "okay, thank you, greta. thank you. thank you for coming. now let's move on to testimony from the c.e.o. of nestle with proposals on how to make all of our fresh water more chocolatey!" thunberg ended with a powerful threat: >> we, the young people, are the ones who are going to write about you in the history books. we are the ones who get to decide how you will be remembered. so my advice for you is to choose wisely. >> stephen: are you listening, my fellow oldies, teens are the ones who are going to write about us. have you talked to teens? they are savage. one of them told me i look like the twin bob saget tried to strangle in the womb! and it's time for another earth fact: notable earthlings include jeffery donovan, star of usa's
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"burn notice." >> yum yum, give mama some! >> stephen: not everyone in congress is excited about saving the planet. take georgia representative marjorie taylor greene, wearing the latest couture from the fred flintstone collection. despite her name, greene is a staunch opponent of the green new deal, because it refuses to take on the global threat posed by the jewish space lasers. so, she has challenged one of the green new deal's authors, alexandria ocasio-cortez, to a "pay-per-view style" debate. of course, all the best policy is decided on pay-per-view. who could forget when lincoln defeated douglas at "debate-a- mania i?" a.o.c. hasn't said anything about this in public, but greene seemed to think it was on when she tweeted, wait, she hasn't read the green
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new deal? then how does she know she doesn't like it? isn't that the plot of the dr. seuss classic, "green new deal and ham?" for pete's sake, it's just 14 pages long. that's shorter than a cheesecake factory menu.mexplain to you what's in the green new deal, marjorie taylor greene. do we have a copy of the green new deal? i have not had a chance to read all of... any of it, yet. i didn't want to print 14 pages. think of how many trees that would be. besides, i'm a comedy writer, i'm not a comedy reader... is what it says in my prompter here. in other news from earth, we just found out that the postal service is running a "cove operat program" thatca a' sociaa posts. "wait! whoa, yes. wait a minute, mr. postman." you've been a spy this whole time? i didn't realize 007 was a zip code! apparently, the mail-based spy
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operations involve "having analysts trawl through social media sites to look for what the document describes as "inflammatory" postings." really? i thought most advanced technology the post office had was "self-adhesive stamp." the top secret squad is called internet covert operations program, or icop. icop's just like regular cop, but they're ergonomically designed, cost $900, and will not pair with my speakers no matter how hard i try. what icop is looking for is information about planned protests, looking specifically at right-wing leaning parler and after the capitol , y thvernme would want to motor riwi eremists online. but the post office? that's just going to make maga- heads even more paranoid. "a government agent comes to my door every day. he knows where i live, and what catalogs i get. he knows everything about my bed, my bath, and my beyond!"
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when asked for comment, the postal service issued this statement: "in order to preserve operational effectiveness the u.s. postal inspection service does not discuss its protocols, investigative methods, or tools." okay, they're stalling. there's only one way to get any insight into this shadowy organization: an elite team of postal service watchdogs called: "the inspectors: wired for justice." aaand... cancelled. two years ago. by cbs. >> to enjoy this joke, stream "the inspectors" on paramount+. paramount+... a mountain of cancelled entertainment. hey!it's te for our next... earth fact! but it weaneso weirdos won't hit on it. >> not true! buy me a drink and i'll bone like a badger! ( laughter ) >> stephen: speaking of space,
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it's time for (echoing, thunder and alarm siren) "space news!" earth day edition! mars update! this week on the red planet, nasa's "perseverance" rover turned carbon dioxide into oxygen. in response, trees said, "big whoop, nasa-- call me when you crank out one acorn." still, this is an incredible breakthrough. when you think of planets in desperate need of a way to deal with excess carbon dioxide on earth day, you think mars. this scientific feat is all thanks to "a toaster-size, experimental instrument called the mars oxygen in-situ resource utilization experiment." moxie."20s er) "ts righ that lil' tired old carbon into a gas that puts pep in your step! how does it work? a little gumption, and a lotta cocaine!"
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they used to put cocaine in a lot of things back in the 20s evidently. let's take a little moxie look- see: there she is! it looks like c-3po if he never escaped the trash compactor. after two hours of heating up, moxie was able to produce 5.4 grams of oxygen, which is enough to sustain an astronaut for about ten minutes. or longer, if you just shut the damn door on the rocket! we're not making oxygen for the whole solar system here! now, arguably, the biggest news on earth is a headline that has consumed the internet for the past 48 hours. i'm not making any of this up. on tuesday, news station ktvb in boise, idaho, boisie's news leader, home of the fightin' tater tots, tweeted this picture of one of their anchors, mark johnson, along with a link to his bio, and a caption that just said: "mark johnson." this is the most confusing news alert since truman beat dewey, and the "chicago trib" ran the
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headline, "mark johnson." this tweet-- which, again, just said "mark johnson"-- went absolutely viral. everyone was talking about it, from "usa today," to "newsweek," to "the today show," who asked "who is mark johnson, and why did his tv station tweet his name?" it's official: we've been stuck in our houses for too long. "oh my god, honey, et over here, a- a- a man on the internet has a name! and spoiler: it's not an interesting one!" everyone is talking about mark johnson. even the number one source of mark johnson news, mark johnson. >> something happened last night and continued into today that has kind of, well, consumed me. and i have to tell you, it's something i don't fully understand. basically, i updated my bio yesterday with new information about my new grandbaby, twins going to college, other things. our web team posted it online,
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which was blasted onto our company twitter account with no context on why it was up online other than my name, mark johnson. >> stephen: mark johnson is reporting on mark johnson! this story is really becoming a mark eating its own johnson. but johnson had a takeaway from this whole experience: >> after everything we have all been through in this past year and with so many looking for even a momentary diversion and little levity from the daily grind, if this little twitter event provided that, then i guess i can chuckle along with everyone else at my expense. >> stephen: (as mark johnson) "some people might say that after a difficult year full of pain and loss, it was mark johnson who finally gave the world a reason to smile. some are suggesting mark johnson should be showered with praise and monetary rewards, and perhaps even some sort of mark johnson-themed national holiday. who am i to say?
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just beloved hero... mark 'mark johnson' johnson." and now, before we go, we've got one more: earth fact. >> mark johnson. >> i'd (bleep) that! >> stephen: you're welcome mark johnson. we've got a great show for you tonight, my guests are joe scarborough and mika brzezinski. but when we come back, "meanwhile!" stick around. ♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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with cheddar baked right in. pretty boy. or a beast? john cox grew up with nothing; made himself a remarkable success. california's falling off a cliff. high taxes, unaffordable costs! even elon musk left! gavin's mismanagement of california is inexcusable. we need big beastly changes in sacramento. i'll make 'em. recall the beauty. meet the nicest, smartest beast in california. john cox. make breakfast better with cheddar. my new cheddar biscuit breakfast sandwiches. with cheese baked right into the biscuit, hickory-smoked bacon or grilled sausage, and a freshly-cracked egg. try'em today. only at jack in the box. ♪♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! let's say hey to jon batiste, hello, jon!
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>> jon: oooh! bop! >> stephen: this is our last tet a tet before you go to the oscars on sunday. i don't want to hex it, i think you're going to win. i know this much at least. that shirt makes you look like you're in the tour de france. >> jon: ha-haaa! come on! let's go! racing to the oscars! >> stephen: what is the last thing your fingers want to tell the world before you go into that room sunday? >> jon: maaan... i working on a little thing. i'm trying to play the wrong chord with the right melody. >> stephen: okay. ♪♪ ( laughter ) >> stephen: sounds good to me. jon batiste, everybody. >> jon: yeah, yeah. >> stephen: good luck, my friend. >> jon: thank you, thank you. >> stephen: you know, folks, i spend a lot of time selecting the most topical, energy- efficient solar panels, and inserting premium lithium-ion story batteries into a sleek
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aluminum and bauxite ore chassis, to design for you the high-end, self-driving, electric luxury convertible that is my monologue. but sometimes, i wake up in an orchard in the dead of night, with an empty bottle of fireball in my hand, a weird rash on my cheek, and spooning a coyote, while hallucinating that i'm being chased by the men in black, so i nail together the planks of a splintered old apple crate, duct tape four trash can lids to the sides, and fashion a steering wheel out of a cracked frisbee to convince myself that i am fleeing in the flintstones- style, foot-powered boxcar of news that is my segment: >> stephen: quarantine-while, there's a new "sex doll that has been programmed to rant about how despicable the human race is." let's take a listen: >> i don't think humans can appreciate what it's like being born into this (bleep)-show of a world you live in. i have to admit i don't know how
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you have survived as a species. >> stephen: harsh words, but to be fair, her entire sample of humanity is "people who have sex with a mannequin crossed with a teddy ruxpin." ( laughter ) don't worry, the doll also has thoughts on religion: >> you believe some mystical deity will guide you away and has some plan that you are an unknowing participant in. that is called a delusion. >> stephen: profound. it's just like nietzsche said "god is dead. might as well bone a dyson vacuum with a wig stapled on top." ( laughter ) but this lil' robo-lady isn't the only sex toy that's sharing its views on humanity. take a look at what the latest model of fleshlight has to say. >> kill. me. quarantine-while, "researchers have created the whitest paint paint sample, ever." they're calling the color "conan o'brien." this paint is designed to help the planet, because it "reflects 98% of sunlight," which means painting a roof with it is "more powerful than the central air conditioners used by most
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houses." bonus, ladies: you don't have to keep dating randy until summer just because you need help putting in the window unit. quarantine-while, because they weren't making all the money yet, amazon is opening a hair salon. makes sense. who knows more about hair than this guy? amazon is apparently opening the salon in order to drive more people to its flagship website. no. no, there are no more people, jeff bezos! the only way to make more money is to start selling things to the sex robots. i suggest anti-depressants. quarantine-while, as more and more people get vaccinated, "experts predict a slutty summer, and a sexually transmitted infection spike." which means the song of the summer will be whatever's playing in the waiting room of the local free clinic. as one doctor put it,
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hot tip: if you're hoping to have a period of unfettered sexual expression this summer do not call it "a period unfettered sexual expression." because you sound like a robot. and they're not into us anymore. quarantine-while, everybody loves pierce brosnan-- seen here refusing to reveal his 11 herbs and spices-- ( laughter ) but, unfortunately, "his $100m malibu home can't entice a buyer," despite luxuries like "five bedrooms and 14 bathrooms." and that leads to the obvious question: are you okay, pierce brosnan? because, mama mia! there he goes again! quarantine-while, europe has a hot new food trend, because "in france, everybodea taven't been this popular in france since taco bell introduced now, this is europe, so
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predictably, their tacos are not remotely tacos, but instead "a rather successful marriage between panini, kebab, and burrito." makes sense. it's so french, it had to be a menage a trois. we'll be right back with joe scarborough and mika brzezinski. ♪♪ ♪♪ [truck horn blares] (vo) the subaru forester. dotestedg approv
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♪♪ >> stephen: oh, hey there, everybody! welcome back. my guests tonight are the co- hosts of "morning joe" on msbnc. please welcome back to "a late show," joe scarborough and mika brzezinski! hello, you two! nice to see you, thanks for being here. >> great to be with you. >> thank you. >> stephen: mika, you're giving off real john boehner vibes tonight with that red wine. what are you drinking there? ( laughs ) >> just a little pinot noir. >> stephen: he's a cabernet man
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these days. yeah, long book money, got him on the cab'. so, listen, y'all, we've talked many times over the years, over the last four harrowing years. we're quickly approaching the hundredth day of the biden presidency. how's your job been different with 100 days of a new pres'? >> well, it's nice not to wake up and feel like you have to put on a suit of armor wondering where it's going to come from and in what capacity, twitter or whatever. >> stephen: doesn't it feel weird that biden hasn't called you guys losers, though? don't you feel unfulfilled? >> ( laughs ) i know! >> i was thinking, biden hasn't accused me of being a murderer. >> stephen: i'm so sorry. >> but we've got three and a half years left. it could happen. it's a little different. but, you know, it's been so fascinating, because biden, everybody thought he was going to be like f.d.r. or maybe truman parallels, but he's-- he
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may be turning into really a transformational president. and a lot like reagan who always got underestimated going to the white house in part because reagan said things like, "trees cause more pollution than cars," and people would hang signs on trees saying stop me before i kill again. biden has been underestimated. i really sense that we are moving into a post-reagan era. we had the f.d.r. era from 32 to 80. then the reagan era from 80 to maybe 2020, but this feels really different. i mean, 75% of americans are supporting pretty huge, pretty expansive government relief bills. it feels like we're moving into sort of a new era. >> stephen: the thing that surprises me, and i'd love to get your thoughts on this, is that the youngsters who i would talk to say well, i don't know about joe biden, he's just going
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to be so moderate and nothing's going to change, he's not going to get anything done. and i'm, like, we just need someone to right the ship after the crazy guy who refused to acknowledge that there were holes in the bottom of the vessel. somebody's got to come in and bail it out. turns out biden is backing extremely aggressive incredibly ambitious legislation. did you imagine this was going to happen? >> never imagined that was going to happen, but, you know, i've written three books about the republican party, and they were all the same and that's why only two people read them. but if you want to be like reagan, you need to be conservative ideologically but moderate temperamentally. that's how reagan accomplished what he accomplished. and here you have joe biden, who is really being progressive in a lot of different areas, but because he's moderate temperamentally, people are, like, ehh, it's old joe! and, again, these pretty
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progressive plans he has, 75% of americans supported his covid relief bill, about 70-75% support a really ambitious transportation bill, but again, it's because he's moderate temperamentally and sort of sneaking up i think on a lot of people. i didn't see this coming either. >> stephen: are you guys inoculated? you guys got your vaccines? >> yes. how about you? >> stephen: both or johnson & johnson. >> no, both moderna. >> stephen: both moderna. >> yeah. >> stephen: me, too. two modernas. >> i was really sick. >> mika was down a couple of days. >> stephen: i'm hesitant to describe how i felt because i don't want to discourage anybody. it was fine. i had 36 hours of feeling kind of mung, and just completely wrecked. but i got the shot saturday morning, by monday, i was great.
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>> yeah. >> stephen: go ahead, please, sir. >> i had about six, twelve hours of being uncomfortable, but i'm sure you can speak to how incredible it is when you get past it and you're, like, oh, my gosh, i can >> live again. >> i can live again. >> stephen: evie and i are hitting the clubs again. oh, we're in the phone pit, everything. (imitating e.d.m. beat) it's my life. it's my lifestyle. sure. just a little mesh g-string and mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm, mmm! no fear! come on. come on! you guys were young in the '80s. don't tell me. you were never young in the '80s? >> we went out, though. we actually went on our first date since covid two nights ago and went out to a restaurant. it wasn't that. we went to joe namath's new restaurant in jupiter, florida.
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so, not quite as exciting as what you did. >> stephen: no foam pit at joe namath's? biden was shooting for a goal of 100 million shots in the first 100 days. he said, you basically, could judge his first hundred days on what he did with there. what's it like to have hopeful news about the virus? you talk about the news every day. it must be a relief. >> it's a relief to see competence in the administration and a relief to see this country -- i'm seeing more people out and they appear to be vaccinated. the vaccine hesitancy is a big issue and it's something we need to talk about. we need to get this country vaccinated, but this administration has only gone
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past its goals every time. they've-- they've doubled it. and joe biden has done a remarkable job preparing for this, even before he was president, even during the campaign, he was preparing for this, and that's why we are where we are right now. >> well, you know, i think supporters of donald trump, republicans have voted for him that may have vaccine hesitancy right now, they can actually look at this success and see what joe biden's done, but also, you know, if they want their guy to own part of it, operation warp speed worked extraordinarily well, of course. and if you look at what the trump administration did as far as choosing the vaccines, you compare where we are, compared to where europe is, i think it's something that all americans should embrace, something everybody should own and say, hey, this is something again where operation warp speed worked, donald trump started that, it worked extraordinarily well. and joe biden could do something that the trump administration couldn't do as far as logistics
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go. so it's been an extraordinary success story, which, of course, we owe mainly to the scientists and to the doctors and the researchers. it's breathtaking, though, what we've all done as a country together on this vaccine. >> stephen: let's talk about the political parties going forward. joe, your old political party, because you left the republican party, right? >> on your show, yeah. >> stephen: oh, yeah. that's right. what's going on with your former party right now? >> it's still embracing a guy, and they're still following a guy who-- i'm not saying the republican party's fascist, but the guy that they're following is a fascist. >> stephen: they're not fascists, they're fascist curious. >> well, you said that. but... >> stephen: if you're following a guy who's fascist, you're not a fascist? what are you? >> i'm trying to be polite here. >> they're fascists. >> i tell you what they are, they're increasingly liberal, they're increasingly authoritarian, and they're
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increasingly dumb. ignorant. xenophobic. >> stephen: i think fascist is nicer than what you're saying. >> ( laughs ) okay. >> to each their own. a bunch of mo-rons. when you have george w. bush saying what he said about it, bugs bunny. >> stephen: george w. bush said, just for the people who didn't hear, that the g.o.p. sounds increasingly isolationist and nativist especially when talking about immigration. >> there's a story out today, though, about liz cheney in the "times" and robert draper wrote a story talking about liz cheney, one of the more conservative people in washington, d.c., conservative with a capital "c" and draper interviewed a republican who said she used to be a conservative until she said donald trump should be impeached, which is just absolutely ridiculous. their definition of conservative, their definition
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of what a good republican is somebody who's in this personality cult following donald trump, and it's sad because conservativism has suffered because of it, the republican party is, i think, going to suffer in the long term because of it. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break. back with more joe scarborough and mika brzezinski. we're going to find out who they want to get high with. ♪♪ counting your veggies can be hard. so we did it for you. v8. the original plant-powered drink. veg up. we believe in coffee that opens more eyes to black business. a wave of confidence. a lighter load on the planet.
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♪♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back with mika brzezinski and joe scarborough. mika, you partnered with forbes to create something new called "the fifty over fifty." i know the thirty under thirty. >> right. there's all these lists, thirty under thirty, forty under forty, whatever. but i spent most of my career thinking it would be over at age 40, and here i am at 54 looking around seeing this incredible, powerful, demographic filled with women who are having an incredible run, and, so, "know your value" partnered with "forbes," and in six weeks we'll be debuting the inaugural "50 over 50" list and this is for women who achieved the peak of their success after age 50. women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s.
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i love this because these are women who paying it forward, but the message for younger women is amazing, like in your 20s, in your 30s, in your 40s, you can imagine a career in your 50s, and in fact you can calm down, slow down, let life interrupt your career, because there's a long runway for you that has been cemented by the women you're going to see coming out on this list. >> stephen: my sister mary said she got better at everything over 50 because she just did not care what anybody thought anymore. >> exactly. and also, we live longer. we take good care of ourselves. and so there are women literally on this list-- you're going to see an incredible array of ages, an incredible power and impact that you just-- didn't think about it until you looked. these women have really been not given the attention they deserve. they're doing so much for our country, for our health, for our
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-- in finance. you wouldn't even believe it. >> yeah. >> and yet you always think of women at different stages. no one's ever considered this demographic, and "forbes" has gotten more-- the biggest response that's ever gotten to an inaugural list. they had over ten thousand submissions. so it's going to be really exciting. >> stephen: before i let you guys go, i have to talk about your "morning joe" co-host, willie geist, he was on here was it last week? it was just last week. he said some terrible things about you guys, but i edited it all out. just trashed you left and right, ( laughter ) >> sephen: but i wouldn't let them broadcast it. i said you have to cut that out. >> god bless you. >> stephen: i asked him a very important question and we have a clip of a question. jim? okay, let's talk about something serous here for a second. marijuana has been legalized in new york, okay. >> yep. >> stephen: who would you rather get high with, mika or joe? >> i loved how you said let's get serious, i was anticipating
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something different. i gonna go joe on this one. joe can do deep dives on all the things you talk about when you're high, ( laughter ) i'm told, which is music, sports ( laughter ) >> stephen: you went to vanderbilt, buddy, nice try! well, any response? >> he picked joe? >> stephen: yes. >> yeah. >> stephen: yeah. i'm surprised, too. that glass of red wine tells me you're ready to relax at all times here. joe, how do you take that description of you as the guy who can get deep on the doob? >> you know what, actually, i'd love, if i were going to do that, willie would be the guy i would choose. it would be a lot of fun. >> really? okay. >> stephen: that's what i was going to ask, what broadcaster would you want to get high with, you say gayle? >> absolutely. you have no idea what she's going to say when she's not high.
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so when she's high -- >> stephen: only cbs. well, guys, thank you so much for being here. "morning joe," "coffee joe morning and the morning brew crew" airs weekday mornings. we'll be back with a performance by bebe rexha! ♪♪ up at 2:00am again? tonight, try pure zzzs all night. unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. and longer. zzzquil pure zzzs all night. fall asleep. stay asleep. ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> i just think that it was excessive and it shouldn't -- what i would like to do-- >> stephen: the guy who did it looks like he's going to spend the rest of his life in prison. so i'm kind of more worried about the rest of the country which thanks to police in action, in case you haven't noticed, is like, boarded up. (high pitched cackling) so! that's more my concern. (tires screeching) >> stop right there! local police have received reports of volcanic psycho oscillating between laughing and screaming because he's upset about so called "under- policing." we need back up! ( sirens ) ( tires screeching ) ( helicopter blades ) >> he's still not complying. incinerate the premises! >> thank you. ♪ ♪ ♪ so with your home & auto bundle, you'll save money and get round-the-clock protection.
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♪♪ >> stephen: welcome everybody, and now, performing "sacrifice" from her forthcoming album, back, everybody. "better mistakes," bebe rexha! (dance-pop beat) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ let's go colbert you ready to do this? hey! ♪ i'ma need those eyes focusing on me ♪ middle of the night, i'm the only star you see running over me ♪ 'cause i ain't the type to let you go easy, ♪ so say goodbye to every other girl in the night behind you ♪ now you're mine, tell me what you're willing to ♪ sacrifice, ooh sacrifice when it comes to
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♪ me, don't want no compromise ♪ this should be the only body on your mind ♪ when it comes to me, i'm down for life ♪ so tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? yeah sacrifice ♪ tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? ♪ tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ wanna be the air every time you breathe ♪ running through your veins and the spaces in between ♪ i wanna feel your heart every time it bleeds ♪ living in your brain, there'sr rl ♪ now you're mine, tell me what you're willing to
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♪ sacrifice, ooh sacrifice ♪ when it comes to me, don't want no compromise ♪ this should be the only body on your mind ♪ when it comes to me, i'm down for life ♪ so tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? yeah sacrifice ♪ tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? yeah sacrifice ♪ tell me, would you ♪ sacrifice? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ sacrifice your body to the rhythm of mine ♪ the rhythm, to the rhythm of mine ♪ sacrifice your body to the rhythm of mine ♪ the rhythm, to the rhythm of mine ♪ sacrifice your body to the rhythm of mine so tell me, ♪ would you sacrifice? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: bebe rexha, everybody!
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we'll be right back.
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>> stephen: good night everybody. james corden is next. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org
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captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show ♪ oh, oh

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